I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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