okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
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