But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
