He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
