I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I would fuck him just for his dog
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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