Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
