If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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