Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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