the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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