another moral hangover. fuck.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
