does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
