Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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