Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
