I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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