Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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