Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
