goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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