my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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