dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
