What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
