And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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