think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
