goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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