This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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