Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
cat food counts as protein by the way
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
