this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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