I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
