is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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