Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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