I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
