just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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