you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
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