its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
