At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize