Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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