One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
