I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
