Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
