Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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