i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
