Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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