Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
