Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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