Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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