You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
