Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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