hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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