So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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