That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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