So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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