out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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