I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
