dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
