We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
