I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
