I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
