we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
