i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
